Saturday, May 3, 2014

Less and More

So often my life is about doing and running and errands and tasks, and whatever leftover time I do have is spent in front of the TV, exhausted and zoned out. Getting to spend actual time doing what I want to do without a long laundry list of tasks--that ALWAYS includes laundry, by the way--is rare indeed.

So rare, in fact, it makes me feel restless and weird.

As I write this, I am on a getaway weekend with my sweetheart husband at a delicious hotel less than an hour from home. Our main intention? Rest, relaxation, decompression from the stress and tension that fill our lives as caregivers for two family members. The unending to-do list remains, but there is just enough distance between me and it that I can't really put what I need aside and work on anything. This is space for me and the man I love to take some deep breaths and let all of our responsibilities retreat into the background for a few hours.

That it feels awkward to me to take this kind of time for myself means that I need more opportunities to do exactly that. More time to sit and read with my feet up. More quiet, more space uncluttered by have-to's, more deep conversations with my favorite person in the whole wide world ever. More pampering and care of myself and letting people do for me, rather than always being the one who does the doing.

Less fretting, less stress and tension and worry and constant pressure. Less of all those bad habits that leave me feeling drained and tired and generally miserable.

Much less of striving to be perfect, much more of simply being authentically ME.

***Note: This post is part of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge.

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